Healing Sibo, chronic Fatigue syndrome and more…
10 Beliefs that kept me sick and trapped in a healing loop
Having traversed the labyrinth of chronic illness for many years, both as a holistic healing practitioner and an individual who has personally overcome various chronic symptoms (chronic fatigue syndrome, POTS, SIBO, PCOS,…), I have witnessed the profound impact of navigating through belief landscapes until reaching a space that promotes natural, effortless and sustainable healing.
Firstly, what does healing mean to me? While healing is an open-ended endeavor, to me, a healthy person is one who is present and in good enough communication with their body, other people, their responsibilities, and life itself. This means that there is no constant avoidance, repression, pushing through resistance, or dissociation (floating about in a fantasy land).
What health is not (for me): being perpetually free of pain and discomfort, forever looking 25, or having a mandatory health routine that consumes 70% of the day.
Arguably, the most significant indication that healing has occurred is when we start thinking about things other than being healthy and symptom-free. Our thoughts revolve around what to write in the work report, what to serve the guests coming next week, how funny it is that our grandma sent a gif, finding time to complete the tax report, admiring how the sun shines through the little window in the attic, or what to do with the dog that got fleas once again.
Life after healing doesn’t unfold on a blissful pink cloud; instead, it presents an ever-growing set of new challenges. Accepting this fact is a crucial prerequisite to healing, preventing it from becoming a never-ending pursuit of a utopia where we can avoid dealing with life in a body and the perpetual repetitive tasks and complexities that come with it. Individuals who struggle to accept the fundamental reality that they have a body, requiring nourishment three times a day, bathing, movement, rest, and connection with fellow humans, are more at risk of getting stuck in healing loops.
After navigating through the realm of chronic sickness, I know one thing for certain:
We are not sick because of what we eat, the random viruses we catch, or the genes we possess. We are sick because of what we believe about ourselves, other people and life, and how we act on those beliefs on a daily basis.
Today, I want to share 10 common problematic beliefs and their more constructive counterparts.
“I've got to recover before I can do X (X being the daunting thing we've decided to pursue).”
When we're not at our best, prioritizing our health makes a lot of sense. It's only natural to focus on feeling well before jumping into that challenging task we've felt our soul nudging us towards—whether it's aiming for a promotion, changing careers, starting a YouTube channel, or exiting a loveless marriage.
While it's crucial to approach this with grounding and self-compassion, being unwell and in the "healing" process can easily become a full-time job that seems safer and more predictable to our system than stepping into new territories that come with promises of resistance, judgment, others' opinions, conflicts, unfamiliar tasks, and difficult decisions, with guaranteed mistakes waiting to be made.
There are times when confronting the scary stuff, despite the discomfort of symptoms, is the only way toward health. The more we convince ourselves to prioritize healing, the more there will be to heal.
Healing lies in taking action, proving to ourselves that we can handle it without dire consequences, and eventually, there's no need for vulnerable parts of us to create symptoms to keep us safe.
If the thought of taking those steps scares you, you can download my free 100 page healing guide here that includes an extensive energy work practice for taking aligned action that doesn’t overwhelm the system.
Counter-Belief: My body's responses are intertwined with my life. I'm sensing resistance toward X, manifesting as a symptom. I'll take slow, mindful steps toward X, proving to myself that I’m capable, gently releasing resistance, and thereby reducing the occurrence of symptoms.
2. “I need to discover the perfect cure, a quick fix that will liberate me like a magic pill.”
Western medicine has undeniably achieved remarkable feats, but it has also contributed to the notion that healing or symptom relief should occur instantly. With surgeries and pills that manipulate our biology, we've set a standard that is not only invasive but also more flawed than commonly acknowledged. Many pills prove no more effective than placebos, and even major surgeries sometimes rely on the power of belief for their success. (Refer to the study "Randomized Trial of Vertebroplasty" linked below, which illustrates that a sham surgery for osteoporotic fractures proved equally effective in alleviating pain as the genuine procedure.)
So, when individuals start unraveling their trauma and addressing problematic behavioral patterns like perfectionism, overachieving and over-helping, self-harming addictive behaviors, sloppy boundaries, and notice no immediate impact on their symptoms, they might conclude, "This doesn't work."
They return to scouring the internet for a cure that will miraculously save them. Unfortunately, there are plenty of offerings that play into this salvation fantasy, and it's a futile pursuit. Even if something provides a quick effect, without altering how we think, feel and act, eventually we'll end up right where we started.
Counter-Belief: Healing is a gradual process; we need to cultivate tolerance for embracing new inner states like peace and learn new ways of thinking, communicating, and acting in the world. It's rarely a swift flip of the switch, but as we gradually feel better, the desire for a quick fix diminishes.
3. “My body is broken and needs fixing.”
The notion that our bodies must be devoid of "symptoms" to be considered healthy is flawed. Living a full life involves encountering new challenges and navigating messy life situations like inevitable changes, loss, or simply unexpected events, which can and will trigger reactions in our bodies. These reactions, if taken to a doctor, might be categorized into patterns and labeled as a diagnosis.
The term "symptom" itself and its usage can be problematic. With the internet readily available, we tend to promptly categorize and label sensations of pain and discomfort, turning them into "symptoms" that imply a framework of disease, reinforcing its reality.
Conversely, we impose specific criteria on a healthy body—expecting it to perform optimally even in deeply dysfunctional settings. To work eight hours a day in a job we (our parents) deem suitable, to care for others when they demand our attention, to stay in power dynamics that keep us small…Observing others seemingly achieve this, we may conclude that something must be wrong with us for not meeting these standards.
Our bodies are responding perfectly to the suggestions we give them. If I believe I am unworthy, unlovable, and can’t even trust my own experience, my body will find ways to alert me to these harmful and untrue thoughts. It won't cease to send these signals, regardless of the numerous remedies I attempt.
Counter-Belief: Our bodies possess a consciousness that has access to broader information than our ego's lens allows. Healthy bodies aren't mere machines following orders; they guide us toward our bespoke fulfillment. Pain has been historically used as a form of punishment, leading us to associate it with something working against us. Our bodies, however, are on our side, and often, it's the narratives we attach to the pain that intensify and prolong its occurrence.
4. “My body is dirty and needs to be cleansed”
Our bodies inherently possess means to eliminate metabolic waste products – processes that may shift in priority during chronic fight/flight/freeze/fawn states. The body responds to our suggestions, so adopting the belief that substances like gluten are harmful can lead to negative reactions.
Neuroception, subconscious perception of our environment, is aligned with the state that our nervous system is in and therefore influences how we see the world. A stressed nervous system perceives the world as dangerous. The narrative of living in a toxin-filled, unsafe world mirrors a chronically stressed nervous system, exacerbating dysregulation even further.
This scenario can lead to prolonged cycles of various cleanses — liver cleanse, super clean eating, parasite cleanse, detox shakes, heavy metal cleanse — consuming years and significant resources before realizing that toxins are not the problem. Understanding that our body isn't inherently dirty, and struggles with waste elimination may have reasons beyond non-orthorexic eating, is crucial. Is it not more beneficial to teach our system that it's okay to exist in this world, rather than seeing it as toxic, aiming to kill us with gluten, sugar, dairy, and pesticides in a piece of cake?
Breaking free from orthorexia and the cleansing culture, especially when we have a history of being scapegoated and emotionally/physically/sexually abused, is indeed very challenging. The first step towards healing often involves acknowledging our body's very existence, creating a home within it, and abandoning dissociation tendencies.
Counter-Belief: It’s safe to be in this world. We can learn to establish inner safety and guide our system to adapt and successfully metabolize life (and food), – even in a world that is confronted with a load of substances that are new and potentially harmful.
5. "If only I were healthy, I would be happy."
The human energy system is inherently designed to experience contrast. Each new achievement and joy brings along a set of challenges or unpleasant experiences that foster growth and expansion. Asserting happiness as contingent upon the absence of illness overlooks the fundamental nature of life. It turns illness into a distraction, a known and predictable evil that feels safer than the uncertainties of venturing into the unknown.
Sickness can serve as a powerful distraction, casting a nostalgic glow on the time before its onset. Few things make it more challenging to introspect (and outrospect) than persistent physical discomfort and/or mental fog. The illness can easily become the sole focus, leading us to believe that if the pain ceases, everything will be perfect.
However, the truth is that when the pain subsides, we are confronted with the reasons it existed in the first place. We may need to address messy situations, engage in difficult conversations, embrace solitude, allow ourselves to be seen, judged, and disliked.
Counter-Belief: My illness is not the barrier between me and happiness. There is something I'm avoiding confronting, something that makes me prefer the safety of sickness. When I find the courage to address that issue, I won't need to resort to creating illness anymore.
6. “Swapping Western medicine for alternatives like diet, supplements, and lifestyle changes will heal me.”
Sometimes, we feel like we've made a significant shift when we move away from traditional allopathic medicine and embrace alternatives, without noticing that some of them might be rooted in the same core beliefs:
That there is a random fault in the programming of the body that needs to be dealt with by prescribing a physical intervention (supplement/herb/diet change…).
Many functional medicine offerings don't account for the fact that healing means changing how we think, feel, and move in the world.
True healing can never mean going back to how things were before we got sick, but rather doing something entirely new.
It involves the death of old versions of self, a huge letting go, a grieving process, and an awkward phase of learning to live from scratch for a while.
Counter-Belief: Healing that does not address beliefs and corresponding behaviors will likely act as a band-aid, not a sustainable solution, regardless of the package it comes in (pill, surgery, Ayurveda diet…).
7. “I need to find the root cause. (In my body).”
There are so many systems that claim to treat the root cause. “Searching for the root cause” can quickly turn into a rabbit hole.
Example: when we are dealing with SIBO, people may prescribe probiotics or antibiotics to treat critters in the wrong places. And then someone comes about and says: but you have to treat the root cause: reduced gut motility, so you should take these ginger capsules to increase motility. I would argue that we can go on the merry-go-round for years if we look for the “root cause” in the physical. Why do we have reduced motility? Because we aren’t breathing properly. Why are we not breathing properly? Because we have polyps that block our nose. Why’s that? Because we eat dairy, and there’s inflammation in the gut and so on and so on. It’s a loop if we look at the body in a dualistic way, separated from all other aspects of life. (This is a random example of falling into a rabbit hole not the medical explanation of SIBO).
The way out: Stop (only) looking for the root cause in the physical: we have gut dysbiosis because we let people cross our boundaries. Because we invite things into our life too quickly, out of fear that something better will never come, even though our gut tells us to say no. Because we overconsume information in the pursuit of perfecting ourselves, because we have no awareness of our own moment-to-moment needs and wants…(Everyone’s scenario is different; these are not meant as rules).
Counter-Belief: We are sick because of what we believe and because of how we act on those beliefs. Once we start to change these, we will organically invite opportunities for physical healing in a meaningful order that correlates to our internal changes.
8. “Some symptoms are random, some are meaningful.” (Inconsistency in belief systems)
At times, it takes a while to truly understand that our body's language is symbolic. While we might admit to having a headache that day as a means to escape a boring meeting, accepting a psychosomatic dimension for a persistent symptom might seem implausible due to tangible bodily changes.
As a functional medicine provider hands us a list indicating re-activated Epstein-Barr and shingles viruses, heavy metals, and a parasite, along with low zinc levels, we may think: "Aha! There we have the cause!" We then resort to only taking herbs and supplements, reinforcing the belief that our body needs correction, cleansing, and defense against random invasions.
On the flip side, there's a belief that, now that we understand our beliefs create our reality, we can indulge in unhealthy habits like consuming gallons of ice cream, chain-smoking, eating all the things we are allergic to and dismissing everything physical altogether (more on that in the next point).
Counter-Belief: Reality is a mirror of consciousness. Or everything is random chaos. We can't have both.
9. "I renounce all material reality" (Ignoring our personal reality I.)
At times, our system can undeniably benefit from physical support, ranging from conventional medicine to breathwork. These supportive interventions often enter our lives synchronistically, are within our means, and evoke a deeply resonant feeling – but they don't necessarily feel like THE solution to save us.
I've encountered this scenario numerous times: after energetically clearing something, physical support manifests organically a few days to weeks later. Often, this physical support is straightforward and appears to have been there all along, yet, for some reason, we were unable to perceive it. It often involves simple acts, such as appropriately nourishing the body with essential nutrients, regular physical activity, incorporating adequate rest, or something equally evident. Profound impacts often arise from the most straightforward elements right before our eyes.
Counter-Belief: Our personal reality consistently collaborates with us to fulfill our intentions. Our resonance system steers us toward authentic choices. These choices present themselves in the form of ideas, things, people, plants, animals, places… that enter our lives without having to force anything.
10. "I need to heal all at once" (Ignoring our personal reality II.)
Once we embark on the journey to understand how our beliefs and behaviors impact our health, it's common to fall into the trap of perfectionism. The path to healing is a continuous one that may eventually lead to enlightenment, but it's crucial to question if enlightenment is genuinely what we desire for this lifetime. Perhaps our authentic aspirations involve deep intimacy with a spouse, the joy of experiencing different cultures, raising 3 children, creating a beautiful home, earning millions of dollars, or speculating in the stock market – all valid desires!
There's no need to heal every wound, attain perfect health, and eliminate all dysfunction. Firstly, there is greater power in lovingly accepting these aspects as integral parts of our journey. Secondly, a smoother and more successful process involves setting intentions for healing and wholeness, aiming for desired life experiences, and then working with what naturally unfolds in our personal reality. This approach aligns seamlessly with our capacity and willingness to clear and evolve aspects of ourselves, preventing us from spending our entire lives in hermit mode solely focused on self-healing.
For instance, desiring improvements like better digestion, clearer skin, a healthier metabolism, and overcoming Hashimoto's might lead to the realization that being a doormat who goes out of their way for others and procrastinates on their own life isn’t helping the situation.
By setting the intent for healing and working with what life presents – engaging in a difficult conversation with our mother, putting extra effort into a work presentation for a potential promotion, or finally declining the dreaded invitation for gossip night with friends – transformation can occur over weeks or a year, depending on our individual capacity.
There’s no need to rush the process; life provides what is needed when we are truly ready.
Counter-Belief: Staying aware of the initiations in my life allows me to organically heal without getting trapped in a never-ending healing loop. Life is for living not for healing.
A bit of nuance:
This article does not aim to assign blame for diseases in good old New Age fashion. The dynamics of disease and healing are complex. While the principles mentioned apply to many, there will always be individuals who have chosen to incarnate with a specific ailment to perceive life through a unique lens and perhaps understand what it means to be cared for by others.
Some people are born with disabilities. Do I believe that these individuals should simply work on their belief systems to "get better"? No. Reality is too multifaceted and nuanced to be painted with broad strokes.
However, to bring about change, we must operate on a premise while allowing room for exceptions and evolution.
Another potential misconception I anticipate is the idea that I am suggesting to ignore whatever is happening in our body, recite a couple of affirmations, and power through. This mindset stems from the aforementioned quest for a magical cure, a desire to avoid dealing with life, and a reluctance to take responsibility for ourselves.
Healing is achievable, and numerous accounts exist of people recovering from severe “incurable” diseases. Yet, advocating for the correction of beliefs and behaviors doesn't imply waving a magic wand for instant well-being.
As an energy worker, I acknowledge that beliefs are more complex than mere thoughts or convictions. They are complex structures woven from implicit memories of past, future, and parallel lives, filled with energy—some ours, some belonging to others—and anchored by emotion, attachments, and pain.
Shifting beliefs often requires more than working on mindset alone. However, as with everything, awareness stands as the initial and most crucial step. The intention of this article is to provide awareness and confirmation from the other side: yes, it is true that once we alter our beliefs and how we act on them, life transforms, the experience of having a body changes, life force returns, and the body heals. Intimacy with oneself and life bring us there.
Conclusion:
Healing can unfold as a joyful and playful journey that draws us into profound intimacy with ourselves, the surrounding world, and the pervasive energy that consistently collaborates with us, permeating everything within and without.
Our personal reality is a co-creation shaped by our beliefs, the state of our nervous system, and the decisions and actions driven by our perceptions, interpretations, and established patterns that give meaning to our experiences.
Throughout this expedition, there are numerous stations where we may pause, spending more time in some than intended. Each step holds a sacred place, and there are no wrong choices, for every encounter yields joy and meaning.
However, a more fulfilling path, filled with depth, connection and meaning always exists—the one guided by our authentic inner knowing.
Navigating this path can be challenging amid the noise of others insisting their way of living or healing is the right one for us. May this article assist you in reclaiming self-trust, alleviating the pressure to mold yourself and life differently, and reassuring you that your current position is perfect. The journey to where you deeply desire to be begins precisely where you are now.
Reference:
Kallmes, D.F. et al. New England Journal of Medicine 2009; 361: 569-79. https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa0900563
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